He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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