I'm lost and stupid without you.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
