It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
