Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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