I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
