i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize