you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
