How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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