hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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