Its about making memories worth repressing
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize