He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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