i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
either way he was missing a nipple.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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