Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
