He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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