I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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