I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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