I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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