At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
