I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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