how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
