now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
