i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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