If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Randomize
