Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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