4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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