Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
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