look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize