I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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