that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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