I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize