It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
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Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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