He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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