You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
