some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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