like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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