Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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