I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
