There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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