Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
