I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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