ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
