I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
