So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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