You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
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And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
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It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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