Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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