So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
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