And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You made out with two different species that night
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
