nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize