Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
