I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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