Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
