i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
