i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
