Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You blew him?!?!
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half