that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
