before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
