Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
