Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
