In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
